Hello My Dear One,
One year ago, I wrote a prayer for an LGBTQI+ Pride Shabbat Service at my synagogue, Congregation Ner Shalom, Cotati, CA. And now, one full year later, I shared the prayer again, this time with a few different words, and a far deeper understanding of what I was saying.
Based on Genesis 1:27, "And G-d created humans in G-d's image, in the image of G-d They created humans; male and female They created them." The word in Hebrew used for G-d in the above text is אֱלֹהִ֖ים Elohim, a plural noun. This term does not indicate a plurality of gods, but rather an understanding of G-d as being greater than human constructs. It could be seen as a way of knowing the Divine as someone/thing that is both universal and Universal.
So, the following poetic prayer speaks to my love of the Torah, my faith in G-d, and the struggles I have experienced as a transman. It is a reflection of how the body I have is a carefully created and shaped entity with the help of nature, science, and the Divine.
Elohim, G-d, You said, “Let US make humans in OUR image.”
You crafted me a body, that never fit quite right
You gifted me a corporeal tote bag, that had crooked seams
You sculpted me a lumpy, squishy, and ungainly vessel, to hold the Divine Spark
And I was ungrateful.
In the beginning, I read how You crafted me in Your image
A cartoon of Adam and Eve printed on a canvas sack
A lump of clay thrown haphazardly on the wheel
And I was ungrateful.
I studied, and read, and translated each text letter by letter.
I punished and scarred my body in every way I could think of
I even asked You, Elohim, why did You create me Wrong?
And I was ungrateful.
And all the texts, and commentaries, and conversations, lay lifeless around me.
And my mangled and mutilated body was sprawled across the floor.
And the Divine Spark began to flicker out.
And I was no longer capable of anything in any form.
And Elohim, G-d, You said, again, “Let US make YOU in OUR image.”
And there we were, all of us, reimagining and reimaging this creation
One shot in the thigh, one lone mustache hair, one new name
One literal seam after another stitched across my flesh
One kippah, one tallit, and one Alephbet making me a man
And I was finally grateful.
You and I, Elohim crafted us this transformed body
You and I, Elohim gifted us this resown rucksack
You and I, Elohim sculpted us this vessel that now fully embodies and envelopes Our Divine Spark
And I, I am grateful.
Be well, love your neighbor as you love yourself, and remember to actually love yourself.
- Ari
