Hello My Friend,
My sincerest apologies for not having written sooner.
I have missed you.
I have missed "us" being together for these brief moments of communication.
I have missed being quiet enough to sit, and write, and think.
Just as I began my blog some months ago another area of my life "took off" and I found that I was busy teaching elementary students several days a week, often with little to no notice. Yes, I became a substitute teacher, and filled many happy days with kids aged 5 to 12. We were reading, spelling, multiplying, creating, dancing, singing, and laughing. It was a wonderful 2 months and I remembered how much I loved being in the classroom and interacting with youth.
And, much to my dismay, I found that I had a terrific rapport with the 5th and 6th grade students.
I had always assumed that I enjoyed the kindergardeners and 1st and 2nd graders better than the older kids, however I had such amazing discussions, and projects, and problems, and fun with these almost teens who proved to me that being yourself is the hardest job you will ever have. As I watched them struggle to figure out what it meant to be the person they were at that moment locked in the horns of who they want to be in the future, I saw that my everyday life was more of a testament to triumph than I ever give it credit for. The fact that I was standing in front of them alive, reasonably healthy, male, and smiling, and that who I appeared to be was exactly what they saw me as. There were no backstories to my life that made them look at me with suspicion or malice. There were no memories of who or what I once was, rather there was only "Mr. Hilton" at the front of the room telling them that we were all going to have a really great day.
In fact, I found that these kids loved that I could be silly and serious, and that I gave them the spaces they needed to define their own boundaries and realities. I began each class day by explaining my philosophy of teaching, but of course not in so many words. I would tell them that I believed that one of the most important parts of their day was recess and that if at all possible I would never hold them in for recess. This revelation was often met with shocked silence or outright applause and cheering. I told them that if they didn't do anything to make me keep them in, then I wouldn't need to keep them in. The questions would then flood out - what would they have to do to cause me to restrict their free time? I would reply that it was very simple, that if I was talking then I expected them not to be talking, that they needed to raise their hand if they had a question, that they needed to be respectful of me and of the other students, to treat others as they wanted to be treated. "Is that all????" they would ask. And I would say yes, absolutely, that is all there is. And our day would begin.
This method seemed to work well for me, and I saw in time that it was because I was empowering the kids to make choices and actions that would benefit them rather than punish them. Instead of setting up a system for bad behavior I created a way for them to be rewarded for their good behavior. Sometimes I would even give the younger ones extra time outside to play at the end of the day if they had done well. It felt right to be doing what I was doing and I saw the results in myself and in the kids quickly.
I grew more than they did in confidence and maturity. And I discovered how to utilize my love of "school" for the good of others.
I received my Education Technician Certification I,II,III in April and I have been pursuing openings in several locations. I would love to have my own classroom some day. I am working on the steps I need to take to get ME State certification as an elementary teacher.
In the meantime, with Summer upon us, I have been parenting my own sons and babysitting a six year old boy for a friend. I have been trying to do educational activities with them, but as you may imagine, an almost 9 year old boy and 2 six year old boys are not always as willing to participate in "school" when it is obviously VACATION!!!
We have a few Rec. programs we are participating in, and the boys have all latched onto "Field Trip Fridays" with a vengeance. Two weeks ago we went to the Animal Refuge and last week we went to the movies. We have a trip planned to the Boothbay Railway Village tomorrow for my mother's birthday, mini-golf included, so honestly I'm not sure I can top that on Friday! By then the local lake may seem like paradise...
So, I am tired, I am busy, I am often hungrier than I realize, and I have little time to contemplate the bigger things in my life, but deep down I am happy.
I am happy that it is Summer Vacation.
I am happy that there is a warm breeze, bright sun, fresh air, cool water, my laundry is flapping on the clothesline (I am not currently flapping), and that there are these quiet moments when 3 little boys are running around the lawn pell-mell, shouting, laughing, and playing with toys.
I hope that you are well and that your moments of vacation, if not as elongated as you might wish, bring you the joy that only comes when we live into this miracle of Summer.
Be well, love your neighbor as you love yourself, and remember to actually love yourself.
-Ari
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